Imagine waking up really late for work…

You slept through your alarm and you woke up over 2 hours late for work.

You jump from your bed, take a 1-minute quick shower, and putting makeup on is not an option today.

As you prepare a mug of coffee before leaving the house, you accidentally spilled coffee on your white shirt.

A sense of anger rises up. You feel frustrated and now you’re even later for work.

Now, imagine you’re driving to work. While you’re getting off the highway, someone cuts you off.

You slam on your brakes. You scream whatever comes out at that moment and, again, that feeling of anger rises up.

This is already enough to make you feel horrible the whole day.

Perhaps, you’re now more distracted during meetings and less productive for the rest of the day.

So why does this one minor thing—someone cutting you off in traffic—have such a powerful effect on us? Why does one negative experience ruin an otherwise great day?

It’s called the negativity bias.

Research shows that our brains evolved to react much more strongly to negative experiences than positive ones.

It kept us safe from danger. But in modern days, where physical danger is minimal, it often just gets in the way.

Today, I want to share something that I’ve learned this past week.

It reminded me of vulnerability.

Last week I came back to the Netherlands, and something really weird happens to me. I later understood that it was the winter dip, but this time… it hit a bit harder.

Last week, I came back from a 6-week holiday from Aruba.

Aruba was amazing. I had the opportunity to be present at my sister’s wedding, my dad’s birthday, and my elder sister’s birthday.

I spent a lot of time with my little niece and nephew… and everything felt comfortable in Aruba… too comfortable.

I was supposed to fly back to the Netherlands in December to come back and take care of work. However, when they announced to lock down in the Netherlands… I decided to extend my ticket.

I told myself that I will take some time to work on my business while being in Aruba and really quickly a lot of opportunities landed my way.

I got interviewed by my friend Bryan Dirkz during his radio show at CoolFm.

The three ladies from Career IQ Aruba also invited me for not one, but two interviews during their morning radio show.

And one of the biggest banks in Aruba reached out because they wanted to make a video of my story. They wanted to use my story as an inspiration for the community.

I was in complete awe.

I also hosted a personal branding mini session. I rented a Villa in Malmok and I invited 10 different entrepreneurs that wanted to level up the way they show up online to take their branding photos.

This was a complete success and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to meet with so many like-minded people on the island.

But when it was time to go back to the Netherlands. Honestly, it felt harder than I thought to get back into my rhythm.

With all that is happening in the world… It felt like the same feeling I got last year, in March 2020, when I lost everything and didn’t know what to do.

And somehow this week I felt the same way…

My attention was more on the unforeseen future and afraid of what might happen.

As I was working on my plan for 2021, I had to take a step back and answer the question: “Why are you doing what you’re doing?” “What is the goal behind everything that you’re doing right now?

I was reading this book, Traction, that was recommended by my business mentor, James Wedmore, and this book talks about The Entrepreneurial Operating System. These are the Six Key Components of any organization.

The book is amazing and it’s the type of book that you need your laptop right next to you to take notes and answer some questions.

One of the questions that I had to answer was: “What is your 10-year goal?”

And before I share my 10-year goal with you, I want to share why it’s so important to have a vision of where you’re going.

One common thread that unites successful people and successful companies is that all of them have a habit of setting and achieving goals.

Because how do you know if you’re heading in the right direction if you don’t know which direction you’re meant to be going?

It’s like buying an airplane ticket with no destination on it. That’s impossible, right?

Well… when I came back to the Netherlands I felt like I had no purpose of being here.

Lockdown, curfew, now even riots… I had all the reasons why being in Aruba right now is actually a better idea.

But, what I’ve learned is that sometimes things are going to feel awful, it might feel like things are moving really slow or perhaps not moving at all, and in those days I want you to keep reminding yourself about your vision.

During the days that things feel really awful, I want you to believe that everything is happening for you, not to you.

That all the challenges, the nights of hard work, the little to no sleep at all… all of that, is happening FOR YOU… for your biggest vision, for your purpose.

And when you approach life that way, everything changes.

When I had to answer the question: “Why are you doing this, Steven?”

It felt like the universe itself gave me the answer. It felt really good to me. It felt close to my heart.

My whole body got chills when I loudly said my 10-year goal.

Do you wanna know what it is?

My 10-year goal is to help 10,000 people quit their 9-5 job, start their own businesses, and experience the financial and time freedom that they always wanted.

Once I said that goal and sat with it for a while… it felt amazing.

So I thought, in order to make this happen. We need to reverse engineer everything. So I started by working on my 3-year vision, then my 1-year vision, then I went to my quarterly goals, weekly goals, and daily goals.

Now I feel so much motivated to wake up every morning and work on my business. Because now I know where I’m going.

One thing that I’ve learned in the past and Tony Robbins reminded me this week was how sometimes we might feel stuck.

The only reason why we are feeling stuck is that we’re either thinking about the future or the past, and we’re not focusing on what is happening in the present moment.

We all know that everything is energy… and what you emit will come back to you.

In order to attract what you want in your life, you have to live in the present. You need to be aligned with the energy that will attract what you want in business and in life.

But often we get lost in the future or we take our past back into our present life and we feel that feeling of overwhelm.

If you’re thinking about the future:

• What would happen if you can’t get any clients this month?
• What if the Internet drops right before hosting a live class online?
• What if people say no to your offer?

Guess what? You will attract that.

Or if you’re stuck in the past:

• I was never good on camera, I can’t go live on Instagram
• I was never a good writer, I can’t start my own blogpost
• I don’t know how to start a business, therefore I can’t have a business.

Guess what? Your reality will reflect what you’re thinking about.

But if you stay in the present moment and repeat positive mantras and affirmations as you go on with your life… things will start to look a lot different.

Even if in the past you have told yourself a different story, every time you have the opportunity to step into your new identity and let go of the old one.

 “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.” – Albert Einstein

Ask yourself:

Who do you need to be today in order to make your goals a reality?

What type of energy would you like to operate from every day?

What type of reality would you like to live in every single day?

What type of characteristics describes the person that has everything that you want right now?

And once you’ve written down all the qualities that describe the person that has everything that you want, choose at that moment to be that person.

Remember that you are the master of your thoughts and your thoughts create your reality.

Every single day, I want you to operate from that place.

This is of course easier said than done.

Research has shown that people tend to focus more on the negative as they try to make sense of the world.

We tend to…

• Pay more attention to negative events than positive ones.
• Learn more from negative outcomes and experiences.
• Make decisions based on negative information more than positive data.

Negative events have a greater impact on our brains than positive ones. Psychologists refer to this as the negative bias (also called the negativity bias), and it can have a powerful effect on your behavior, your decisions, and even your relationships.

Personally, when I was on holiday in Aruba, I was giving a lot to other people, but I wasn’t feeding my brain and intuition with the positive energy that keeps me going.

I’ve learned that as a business strategist, that in order for me to give to the members of my program, or to simply host a FB or IG live, I need to feed myself with energy.

I can’t expect to give, give, and give without getting anything in return. And I’m not talking about money, I’m talking about feeding my brain with podcasts, different books, meditation, breathwork, and hypnosis.

I need to take some time to take care of myself first, in order to take care of others.

And honestly, when I was on holiday, I didn’t take the time to take care of myself internally. So when I came back to the Netherlands, I felt like I was in a funk.

What do I mean by a funk?

I felt that funk feeling from the moment that I’ve arrived at my own place. It felt so silent, it felt so cold, and dare I say it: lonely.

I immediately had a complete wake-up call of the two different lives than I have in these two different countries. Somehow, this time it hit a bit deeper.

I wasn’t motivated to work on my projects, I just wanted to stay in bed the whole day, and I quickly started to feel really bad about it.

Today, one week later after arriving in the Netherlands, I’m definitely getting back into my drive. I’m not 100% there yet, but I’m working daily on it.

And today I wanted to share with you what I’m doing to get out of this funk-feeling.

How to get out of a funk

Become aware of your emotions and where they are coming from.

For me, it was like the same feeling I experienced when the virus started in the Netherlands. I didn’t know where to look or how to continue. It felt really scary.

And even though I have a lot of things to do in my business, it still felt like “WTF IS HAPPENING?!”

My emotions were all over the place, I was happy that I was in my own place, but at the same time really sad for not being with my family.

I had to look deeper and understand that I haven’t been taking the time to take care of myself internally for a long time, and I needed to take the time to do that again.

But I realized that I was also telling myself different stories in my head. And that leads me to my second point.

Reframe the story that you’re telling yourself

Personally, I was telling myself that I made the wrong decision. That I should’ve stayed safe with my parents and live a dushi bida (a good life), as they say in Aruba, and wait until everything has passed by.

But the reality was that I was trying to hide my insecurities and my commitment to my business, by just playing it safe.

Quickly, I started to overthink everything that could happen in the future… ‘What if doesn’t work? What if should’ve just stayed in Aruba? What if I don’t get any business with the new lockdown and now curfew?”

But those thoughts only made it worse. It raised a sense of fear that I couldn’t control.

I had to stop myself for a moment and reframe the stories that I was telling myself. I needed to get out of that funk.

I’m not saying I have it all figured out, but every time that negative thought or uncomfortable feeling presents itself, I reframe the thoughts with a different story.

The story that I chose to tell myself is that everything that is happening in my life is happening for me, not to me.

I repeat to myself that I’m the infinite universe manifested in humans form, I can do and be exactly who I want to be.

Today, I choose to be the person that is not in a funk. The person that will keep showing up in their highs and even in the lows– because you can’t have a high without a low.

I determine my reality. And I hope you do, too.

Take some time to do different things to keep your mind away from negative thoughts.

When I came back to the Netherlands, I realized that staying in bed and waiting for my problems to magically resolve themselves, wouldn’t happen. So I needed a better strategy.

I took time to do things that would keep my mind busy and not give it a chance to think about the negative stuff. I video-called with my family, I visited a friend and had a walk in the park with another friend.

I took the time to catch up to my favorite podcasts, I read a book and I cooked my favorite meals to feel that sense of achievement.

Whatever you do, remember that you’re the owner of your thoughts, and your thoughts dictate your reality.

You have to first become aware of your feelings and what thoughts were dictating those feelings. You need to recognize that your reality is a reflection of your inner world and in order to manifest whatever you want in life, you need to reframe the story that you’re telling yourself.

Remember, you can always choose who you want to be in this exact moment because you’re the master of your thoughts.

Let’s connect on Instagram, (ig:stevendecuba), and let me know that you’ve listened to this episode and share with me how do you get out of a funk. I’d love to connect with you.